here
you can download the book by Deepak Chopra titled "The Spontaneous fulfillment of Desire"
Monday, December 2, 2013
How Good Are you Turning Your Bad Moods Around? Part II
Contd Results :
Every one has days when they feel some what overwhelmed...its just part of life.If you have received High Score on this test ,you are probably those people who are quite good at puting bad times behind....if you have received a low score ,you could reduce the times you feel bad by learning more effective coping strategies...high Scorers have a firm belief that they can influence their mood while low scorer feels helpless.
we must help these later group of people understand if they take proper acion it can distupt their negative emoion,they donot have to be the passive victims of either circumstances or mood...Low scorer can get help from a particular approach called "Solution focused therapy"
In this apprach low scoring people are asked to keep record of degree of stress felt each day.if the person finds a perticular day when he felt less stressed,he should try to recollect what did that day,or where did he go etc. keeping the record can help us to see a pattern.
helping people gain their sense of control is most important component of solution focused therapy.hence the low scoring people should focus on identifying solution that work best for you.keep chart of your negative emotions.Some days will be beter that the others,and you have to identify what you did differently on your good days .Yes,its true that some people are more fortunate than others ,but none of us are helpless about doing something about our circumstances.As long as you beleive you can make differnce ,you will.All you have to do is identify that work for you.
Source:Psychologist's Book of Personality Tests
Every one has days when they feel some what overwhelmed...its just part of life.If you have received High Score on this test ,you are probably those people who are quite good at puting bad times behind....if you have received a low score ,you could reduce the times you feel bad by learning more effective coping strategies...high Scorers have a firm belief that they can influence their mood while low scorer feels helpless.
we must help these later group of people understand if they take proper acion it can distupt their negative emoion,they donot have to be the passive victims of either circumstances or mood...Low scorer can get help from a particular approach called "Solution focused therapy"
In this apprach low scoring people are asked to keep record of degree of stress felt each day.if the person finds a perticular day when he felt less stressed,he should try to recollect what did that day,or where did he go etc. keeping the record can help us to see a pattern.
helping people gain their sense of control is most important component of solution focused therapy.hence the low scoring people should focus on identifying solution that work best for you.keep chart of your negative emotions.Some days will be beter that the others,and you have to identify what you did differently on your good days .Yes,its true that some people are more fortunate than others ,but none of us are helpless about doing something about our circumstances.As long as you beleive you can make differnce ,you will.All you have to do is identify that work for you.
Source:Psychologist's Book of Personality Tests
How Good Are You at Turning Your bad Mood Around? Part 1
1=strongly disagree
2=Mildly disagree
3=cant tell
4=mildly agree
5=strongly agree
1.I can usually find way to cheer my self up
2.I can do something to feel better
3.Wallowing in it is all I can do
4.I will feel okey if I think about more pleasant times
5.Being wih other people will be a drag
6.I can feel better by treating myself to something I like
7.I feel better when I understand why I feel Bad
8.I wont be able to get myself to do anything about it
9I wont feel much better by trying to find some good in the situation
10.It wont be long before I can calm myself down
11.it wiil be hard to find some one who really understands
12.telling myself it will pass will help me calm down
13.Doing something nice for someone elese will cheer me up
14I will end up feeling really depressed
15Planning how I will deal with things will help
16 I can forget about what is upsetting me pretty easily
17 catching up with work will help me calm down
18 the advice friends gives me won help me feel beer
19 I wont be able to enjoy things I ussually enjoy
20 I can find way to relax
21 Trying to work the problem out of my ead will only make it seem worse
22 seeing a movie wont help me feel better
23 Going out with friends will help me
24 I will be upset for a long time
25 I can feel better by doing something creative
26 I will start to feel really down with myself
27 Thinking that things will eventually be better wont help me feel any beter
28 I can find some humor in the situation and feel better
29 if I am with a group of people ,I will feel "alone in a crowd"
Scoring
The first step is to reverse the score (5=1,4=2,3=3,2=4,1=5) for the following item of
3,5,8,9,11,14,18,19,21,22,24,25,27,28 and 30 then add your responses for your total score.
Norms
Score percentile
11 6 85
108 70
100 50
92 30
84 15
FIND THE RESULT ON MY NEXT POST
Source:Psychologist's book of personality Test
create n innovate
creativity is universal!!I believe every people is creative ,may be in
their unique sort of ways.Perhaps they have different areas where they
use their creativity.
There are lots of theories on creativity..namely Right-brain Theory.
the right side of the brain is best at expressive and creative tasks. Some of the abilities that are popularly associated with the right side of the brain include:
MI or Multiple Intelligence is another concept ,it has been found that people have different kinds of intelligence rather than one single mental ability, This theory was introduced by Howard Gardner In the year of 1983.He explored various forms of expressions of intelligence available to cognition.According to him the Multiple Intelligences are:
Musical
Linguistic
Naturalist
logical/mathematical
Interpersonal
Intrapersonal
visual-spatial
body-kisthetic.
the people who has more ability in Visual-Spatial area,are more creative.but in real life we need both right and left brain to lead a normal life as we need all the intelligence skill sets described in MI theory.creativity is not something limited to our craft blogs.it should be applied in day to day life.we need to grow that kind of perceptions ..so our aim should be creative in every moment .
Lets do something about it...
1)writing down ideas
We have tons of ideas which flashes across our mind everyday,some are unique,some are bazzaire ,some are funny.We often forget those ideas by the time we hit the bed.We must write those at the moment it occurs.
Please don't bother about spelling /grammar.
I take it down in my cell's note,if you wish to go retro,carry a notebook.just dont loose your ideas.
2)Story first Technology Last
always think about the message you want to convey,be it in any medium. do not think too much about how you will present it,so that people take notice. don't invest in a presentation class called "how to use PowerPoint"...until you have taken a class "how to tell a story and connect with your audience"..
3)simplify
simplify things,your life,thought process,home,office,desk,process,vision,procedure.It saves not only time to indulge in more creative pursuits but it gives clarity of purpose.
4)fix problems
we love to complain,don't we!!but creative people fix problems of their own or others'.
5) Brainstorm
as the first point goes ,write whatever ideas or creative solution ,no matter how odd it sounds.Just remember dont tell other people that their ideas are bad ,specially if you dont have any better idea.
6) do you have an audience?
in the presence of an audience ,never ever give a speech or data, give performance,tell a story.
7)see places
go out of your daily routine, or comfort zone to get your creative juices flowing.
8)no excuses!!
"I cant ( write/design/create) because I don't have latest tool".if you have your brain you will make your tool all by yourself.that's how our forefathers did it.you cant let a machine take your credit for your creativity either.and you cant blame a machine for your creative failures.
9)don't blame your tool ,Fool!
the more you become a master of your particular form---the fewer tools you will use.use what works,dont waste time on useless unsuitable tools .
10)everyday!
create something everyday!!
11)originality
always be original.try to have your personal touch what ever you do.invent a personal style.
12)inspirations
some people dont need push to create, but some people do.so inspirations are important and its endless.so collect and remember those in your own way so that it can make you get going.
enjoy!
There are lots of theories on creativity..namely Right-brain Theory.
the right side of the brain is best at expressive and creative tasks. Some of the abilities that are popularly associated with the right side of the brain include:
- Recognizing faces
- Expressing emotions
- Music
- Reading emotions
- Color
- Images
- Intuition
- Creativity
MI or Multiple Intelligence is another concept ,it has been found that people have different kinds of intelligence rather than one single mental ability, This theory was introduced by Howard Gardner In the year of 1983.He explored various forms of expressions of intelligence available to cognition.According to him the Multiple Intelligences are:
Musical
Linguistic
Naturalist
logical/mathematical
Interpersonal
Intrapersonal
visual-spatial
body-kisthetic.
the people who has more ability in Visual-Spatial area,are more creative.but in real life we need both right and left brain to lead a normal life as we need all the intelligence skill sets described in MI theory.creativity is not something limited to our craft blogs.it should be applied in day to day life.we need to grow that kind of perceptions ..so our aim should be creative in every moment .
Lets do something about it...
1)writing down ideas
We have tons of ideas which flashes across our mind everyday,some are unique,some are bazzaire ,some are funny.We often forget those ideas by the time we hit the bed.We must write those at the moment it occurs.
Please don't bother about spelling /grammar.
I take it down in my cell's note,if you wish to go retro,carry a notebook.just dont loose your ideas.
2)Story first Technology Last
always think about the message you want to convey,be it in any medium. do not think too much about how you will present it,so that people take notice. don't invest in a presentation class called "how to use PowerPoint"...until you have taken a class "how to tell a story and connect with your audience"..
3)simplify
simplify things,your life,thought process,home,office,desk,process,vision,procedure.It saves not only time to indulge in more creative pursuits but it gives clarity of purpose.
4)fix problems
we love to complain,don't we!!but creative people fix problems of their own or others'.
5) Brainstorm
as the first point goes ,write whatever ideas or creative solution ,no matter how odd it sounds.Just remember dont tell other people that their ideas are bad ,specially if you dont have any better idea.
6) do you have an audience?
in the presence of an audience ,never ever give a speech or data, give performance,tell a story.
7)see places
go out of your daily routine, or comfort zone to get your creative juices flowing.
8)no excuses!!
"I cant ( write/design/create) because I don't have latest tool".if you have your brain you will make your tool all by yourself.that's how our forefathers did it.you cant let a machine take your credit for your creativity either.and you cant blame a machine for your creative failures.
9)don't blame your tool ,Fool!
the more you become a master of your particular form---the fewer tools you will use.use what works,dont waste time on useless unsuitable tools .
10)everyday!
create something everyday!!
11)originality
always be original.try to have your personal touch what ever you do.invent a personal style.
12)inspirations
some people dont need push to create, but some people do.so inspirations are important and its endless.so collect and remember those in your own way so that it can make you get going.
enjoy!
Sun Square Moon
You can be comfortable or courageous,but you cannot be both
Dear All,
It has been a long time since I added anything Astrological ..
I enjoyed all the comments that you guys dropped!
You know how much I like the Square aspect,hence this is my another post of Square-dealing!
As we know square is all about internal conflicts , the resolution of those conflicts and restoring balance.Where ever we see a square in our chart ,it indicates that we need to adjust and balance those energies so the hidden boon can manifest in our life.Earlier ,In one of my post I shared my love for squares,because it can be a never-ending source of motivation and driving force of our life...its boon in disguise of an irritation!
After going through the Ascendant,which is the FACADE ,the next thing we can get in touch with the REAL-SELF symbolized by the SUN!Hence I have decided to see how each of the planets react when they are associated with the mighty Sun in square relationship!
if we think about the Sun ,Moon is not far behind!
These two planets are like two major pillars of our whole being! Its like our Dad and Mom! without them we would not have seen this wonderful World!These people are always in our mind -they have the greatest amount of influnece over us ,no mater how strongly we deny!they enriches and affects us directly or indirectly!
Sun is our conscious mind-our goal of life -our ego.
Moon is the emotion -domestic envirnment-habits-instincts-food
combination of these two energies makes our life!
but
When these two energies does go along-it can create a tremendous amount of dissatisfaction and disappointment towards life....
from my personal experience I can assure this ,even if you don't have opposition or square involving these two planets -any minor discording aspects can cause an irritation time to time.Transits can also be felt.
lets see what can be done .....
1.Its impossible to convey or measure how much a child can get psychological and emotional hurt along with a tremendous sense of insecurity when he/she experiences that his or her parents fighting with each other -either verbally or physically! Children absorbs like sponge absorbs the water! The people on whom he /she counts the most ,are not being able to address their own emotional needs, how can they be the provider of emotional securities towards this frightened child?Children are very KIND souls -they forgive,but do they always forget? I think not!
then one day that child grows up!
You are not responsible for the
programming you picked up in the childhood,however ,as an adult you are
one hundred percent responsible for fixing it
-Ken keyes Jr.
The deprivation faced at early life can affect the personal life of the native.Hence its his responsibility to make his life less troublesome as well as for others ,by making necessary re-adjustments and unlearning few habitual thinking patterns.lack of emotional fulfillment can make these people approval seeking -violent in personal dealings.These people should understand that their personal experience is not the ultimate experience or its not the biggest stressful experience one can have in life.Be flexible.
2.These people should cultivate self love,which can help them grow self-esteem.The agonizing feeling of not being accepted as you are, can make you feel lonely .these people are very creative and has capability to achieve great success .For that they need to be goal oriented and focused.
3.In order to have healthy self esteem,you need to prove your worth to your self ,not to others.According to Graphotherapy ,how you write the alphabets"t" and "I" can indicate the level of your self esteem.And Graphoherapy can be a great way to alter your habitual thinking patterns.Try it.
4.Make your own customized support system,a plan ,a course to fall back in to when you need balance. Donot let any depressive thought crawl in to your mind.Moon represents our food habit and nutritious needs,many people are either anaroxic or obese due to emotional food in taking.Take care of your body .
5. If you feel you can always join or form social groups through which the problem of domestic violence can be addressed.Similarly working wih deprived children can give you much peace.This can be the way to reinvent yourself.
6.you can work well where you need to be more self -expressive.you have a keen perception about life.do you wish to become a writer?you have drive and talent.you are resilient.you like to be your own boss-but lots of time can get wasted before you can truly know what you want to become in life-because your mind takes you the opposite direction where your life takes you.choose a career where you would be able to work with people independently.
7.Be logical and a realist when making an important choice of your life.do not take decision when you are moody .
8.watch you behavior.you can be your worst enemy,you may sabotage your life.you tend to attract challenging situations.
9.Even if they love to have a committed relationship,they often tend to make some mistakes.We love ourselves through the others and our relationship with others helps us to understand what we actually need.your relationship struggles can help you understand what you need and where you need to alter your perception.
Tips
Be aware of your feelings and make sure you are never side tracked from your goals.
try to take up yoga -which centers your mind!
dont let inner stuggle to have an effect on your friends ,job or marital life=be decisisve.
dont not in to fall trap of repating your parent's mistake in your marital life.
if you are a woman-dont be a stern feminist.its not the way to live in this world where men-women and other gerders are present and needs each oher.
your sensitivity and moodiness can hamper your productiviy-take care of your unfinished projects.
keep away from substance abuse
give me a feedback
have a nice day!
-Ken keyes Jr.
The deprivation faced at early life can affect the personal life of the native.Hence its his responsibility to make his life less troublesome as well as for others ,by making necessary re-adjustments and unlearning few habitual thinking patterns.lack of emotional fulfillment can make these people approval seeking -violent in personal dealings.These people should understand that their personal experience is not the ultimate experience or its not the biggest stressful experience one can have in life.Be flexible.
2.These people should cultivate self love,which can help them grow self-esteem.The agonizing feeling of not being accepted as you are, can make you feel lonely .these people are very creative and has capability to achieve great success .For that they need to be goal oriented and focused.
3.In order to have healthy self esteem,you need to prove your worth to your self ,not to others.According to Graphotherapy ,how you write the alphabets"t" and "I" can indicate the level of your self esteem.And Graphoherapy can be a great way to alter your habitual thinking patterns.Try it.
4.Make your own customized support system,a plan ,a course to fall back in to when you need balance. Donot let any depressive thought crawl in to your mind.Moon represents our food habit and nutritious needs,many people are either anaroxic or obese due to emotional food in taking.Take care of your body .
5. If you feel you can always join or form social groups through which the problem of domestic violence can be addressed.Similarly working wih deprived children can give you much peace.This can be the way to reinvent yourself.
6.you can work well where you need to be more self -expressive.you have a keen perception about life.do you wish to become a writer?you have drive and talent.you are resilient.you like to be your own boss-but lots of time can get wasted before you can truly know what you want to become in life-because your mind takes you the opposite direction where your life takes you.choose a career where you would be able to work with people independently.
7.Be logical and a realist when making an important choice of your life.do not take decision when you are moody .
8.watch you behavior.you can be your worst enemy,you may sabotage your life.you tend to attract challenging situations.
9.Even if they love to have a committed relationship,they often tend to make some mistakes.We love ourselves through the others and our relationship with others helps us to understand what we actually need.your relationship struggles can help you understand what you need and where you need to alter your perception.
Tips
Be aware of your feelings and make sure you are never side tracked from your goals.
try to take up yoga -which centers your mind!
dont let inner stuggle to have an effect on your friends ,job or marital life=be decisisve.
dont not in to fall trap of repating your parent's mistake in your marital life.
if you are a woman-dont be a stern feminist.its not the way to live in this world where men-women and other gerders are present and needs each oher.
your sensitivity and moodiness can hamper your productiviy-take care of your unfinished projects.
keep away from substance abuse
give me a feedback
have a nice day!
Wednesday, October 16, 2013
A Blast Of Insipiration!
Dear All
I am back with some of the snaps of Durga Puja ( biggest festival in Eastern-part !!),and this was the reason I was off from blogging !
Durga Puja is all about winning of the positive energy over the evil !
Here in the eastern part we get see a lot of original-
and one of a kind themes by which Pandals are decorated!
Its so sad that within four days of Puja no one can cover all the pandals!
During these four days our city becomes the inspiration-hub for all the craft enthusiasts!People just soak in the light of creativity and fun !
Here in my Art Blog I cant possible upload all the snaps ....
Among the all,I have choosen to feature a simple yet very skillfully decorated Pandal which incorporated
PAKISTANI TRUCK ART!
I am back with some of the snaps of Durga Puja ( biggest festival in Eastern-part !!),and this was the reason I was off from blogging !
Durga Puja is all about winning of the positive energy over the evil !
Here in the eastern part we get see a lot of original-
and one of a kind themes by which Pandals are decorated!
Its so sad that within four days of Puja no one can cover all the pandals!
During these four days our city becomes the inspiration-hub for all the craft enthusiasts!People just soak in the light of creativity and fun !
Here in my Art Blog I cant possible upload all the snaps ....
Among the all,I have choosen to feature a simple yet very skillfully decorated Pandal which incorporated
PAKISTANI TRUCK ART!
KOLKATA:
The Indo-Pak relationship is set for a new boost. Three Pakistani
artists will decorate the Hatibagan Nabinpalli pandal with their unique
'truck art' this Puja. The trio - Haidar Ali, Mumtaz Ahmed and Md Iqbal -
will reach Kolkata by the end of this week.
Though Haidar - the lead artist in the team - has come to India a couple of times before, he has never been to Kolkata. Speaking to TOI over phone, this internationally-acclaimed artist said, "I have never been to Kolkata, but I know about Durga Puja. I have seen it on the television. It's a huge festival and I am happy that I will be a part of it this year. I hope that the people of Kolkata will love this work of art".
The whole article published in TOI (Times Of India) can be read through this LINK
This Nabin Palli is situated at the Northern Part of the city....
The bottom line is ,those 3 artists completed this entire project within 27 days!!I am a big fan of decorative paintings,so it was a feast to the soul...
Now its time to upload the snaps.......
Hope this post was enjoyable !! All the crowds and
bad weather (specially on that day) could not take away our enthusiasm
to be part of the festival!!
Though Haidar - the lead artist in the team - has come to India a couple of times before, he has never been to Kolkata. Speaking to TOI over phone, this internationally-acclaimed artist said, "I have never been to Kolkata, but I know about Durga Puja. I have seen it on the television. It's a huge festival and I am happy that I will be a part of it this year. I hope that the people of Kolkata will love this work of art".
The whole article published in TOI (Times Of India) can be read through this LINK
This Nabin Palli is situated at the Northern Part of the city....
The bottom line is ,those 3 artists completed this entire project within 27 days!!I am a big fan of decorative paintings,so it was a feast to the soul...
Now its time to upload the snaps.......
 | ||
| Entrance Of the Pandal! even the space is small ,they made it inviting! |
 |
| outer walls of a truck! |
 |
| hoods!! |
 |
| the hooks of the outer wall of a truck can be seen here! |
 | ||
| finally what matters!! MAA |
Wednesday, August 14, 2013
quotes from the books
Carmen hated the 'life is too short' rationalization. She
thought it was one of the lamer excuses in the history of excuse-making.
Whenever you did something because 'life is too short not to,' you could be
sure life would be just long enough to punish you for it."
— Ann Brashares
— Ann Brashares
Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to
another: 'What! You too? I thought I was the only one.'"
~Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time
to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye.
Whoever said the pen is mightier then the sword obviously
never encountered automatic weapons."
--Douglas MacArthur
--Douglas MacArthur
"She wants to know if I love her, that's all anyone
wants from anyone else, not love itself but the knowledge that love is there,
like new batteries in the flashlight in the emergency kit in the hall
closet."
— EL&IC
— EL&IC
"If I had a flower for every time I thought of you...I
could walk through my garden forever."
— Alfred Lord Tennyson
— Alfred Lord Tennyson
"If all the world hated you and believed you wicked,
while your own conscience approved of you and absolved you from guilt, you
would not be without friends.
- from Jane Eyre
- from Jane Eyre
"This is your life, and it's ending one minute at a
time."
Fight Club A Novel Chuck Palahniuk
Fight Club A Novel Chuck Palahniuk
“The one you love and the one who loves you are never, ever
the same person.”
~"Invisible Monsters" Chuck Palahniuk
~"Invisible Monsters" Chuck Palahniuk
"It was the tension betweeen these two poles - a restless idealism on one
hand and a sense of impending doom on the other - that kept me going."
~"The Rum Diary" Hunter S. Thompson
~"The Rum Diary" Hunter S. Thompson
"Some people feel like they don't deserve love. They walk away quietly
into empty spaces, trying to close the gaps of the past."
~ Chris McCandless (Into the Wild)
~ Chris McCandless (Into the Wild)
"people for whom sin is just words, salvation is just
words too" As I Lay Dying, Faulkner
"A small child typically laughs more than four hundred
times each day, and an adult - seventeen times."
~"The Happiness Project" Gretchen Rubin
~"The Happiness Project" Gretchen Rubin
"The only thing worse than a boy who hates you: a boy
that loves you."
— Markus Zusak (The Book Thief)
— Markus Zusak (The Book Thief)
"Maybe everyone can live beyond what they're capable of."
— Markus Zusak (I Am the Messenger)
— Markus Zusak (I Am the Messenger)
"The trouble with words is that no matter how much
sense they make in theory, they can't change what you feel inside."
~"Beautiful Malice" Rebecca James
~"Beautiful Malice" Rebecca James
"That's the thing about books. They let you travel
without moving your feet."
The Namesake by Jhumpa Lahiri
The Namesake by Jhumpa Lahiri
"Some bridges you crossed on your own, no matter who
drove you to the edge"
— J.R. Ward (Dark Lover)
— J.R. Ward (Dark Lover)
"Hell is empty, all the devils are
here"-Shakespeare
Monday, August 12, 2013
Govt Of India's Apparel Design And Trainning Centre
Govt of India has been ever eager to cure the curse of unemployment
problem.thats why a " smart " course has been introduced for the youths
who are interested to join in Apparel and Fashion Industry.
Govt has forecasted that within 2016, 800 million work force will be needed to satisfy the ever increasing needs world wide.
HERE -ATDC
throughout the Country 143 branches are helping youths to find the air under their wing.
They are conducting long duration course as well a short term courses to suit the needs of the students.
for further info :
Govt has forecasted that within 2016, 800 million work force will be needed to satisfy the ever increasing needs world wide.
HERE -ATDC
throughout the Country 143 branches are helping youths to find the air under their wing.
They are conducting long duration course as well a short term courses to suit the needs of the students.
for further info :
| ATDC Kolkata |
| Plot No.- 3B, Block - LA, Sector - III, Salt Lake City, Kolkata - 700098 |
| Phone: 033-23359994(T), 09830239715(M) Fax: 033-23359821 |
| Email: atdckol@yahoo.co.in |
Sunday, August 11, 2013
Saturday, August 10, 2013
weaving trainning
Govt of India is ready to help the budding fashion designers and
entrepreneurs by providing an 1 month trainings on 1) dyeing 2)weaving
and 3) textile designing.
fees : 1000 /-
Its better to have some theoretical knowledge about weaving and fabrics before you go here.Many pvt and govt fashion schools send their students here so that they can acquire the practical knowledge,as well as a govt certificate.
for further inquiry,Contact:
S.Banerjee,Deputy Director
Phone: (033)23232236
Address:
Weaver's service centre.
A-101 Garment Park ( poridhan)
19,Canal South Road
Beliaghata
Kolkata-15.
P.S if I have missed any important info about weaving training in Kolkata,please feel free to mention.It might help ALL of us.
fees : 1000 /-
Its better to have some theoretical knowledge about weaving and fabrics before you go here.Many pvt and govt fashion schools send their students here so that they can acquire the practical knowledge,as well as a govt certificate.
for further inquiry,Contact:
S.Banerjee,Deputy Director
Phone: (033)23232236
Address:
Weaver's service centre.
A-101 Garment Park ( poridhan)
19,Canal South Road
Beliaghata
Kolkata-15.
P.S if I have missed any important info about weaving training in Kolkata,please feel free to mention.It might help ALL of us.
Friday, August 9, 2013
Thursday, August 8, 2013
SWOON
End of the document Like SWOT or PEST,
SWOON is a self awareness tool.
Strength
|
||||
Kind
|
||||
loyal
|
||||
funny
|
||||
intelligent
|
Get some A4 size paper and draw up this grid in a landscape
format
Strength: what
are the good points of you? maybe you are romantic or very compassionate. Put
yourself under a microscope and write down the every single strengths you have
,however small or underdeveloped.
When you have exhausted the strength column-and we hope you
have had to use more paper, because you are an excellent product, fill in the next
columns that your grid looks like this
Strength
|
Weakness
|
Opportunity
|
Obstacles
|
Needs
|
Kind
|
obstinate
|
|||
loyal
|
dither
|
|||
funny
|
habits
|
|||
intelligent
|
pedantic
|
Weakness:
Initially you might find it easier to fill up this column,
but once you focus on the weakness, it will highlight the strengths you have
missed so add them into appropriate column. Another way to adding the strengths
columns is to look to the flip side of the weakness
Opportunity: there are opportunities in most
situations; it mainly depends on how you look at them. If any opportunity pop
into your head –and they will if you open your mind and follow your instinct
for this exercises –and if quick as a flash you immediately think “ oh no that’s
not suitable” ask your self why .You will come with all sorts of excuses (disguised as a reason) why this
should be so but if you pull every “ reason” apart you will usually find that it’s
a miserable little excuse at its heart, if you want to live your life lurching
from excuse to excuse ,feel free, but you are not really doing your best for
yourself, this is what you are suppose to find out by doing this exercise.
Obstacle: We are
not saying that there are no such things as obstacles, we are saying is that
some obstacles really miserable little excuses, which can be kicked off. Another
obstacle really are that things that get into the way and which are too big and
too scary to kick aside, so go around them. just make that distinction-is it a
real obstacle or is it a miserable little excuse ,either can be overcome with
imagination and determination
Needs: behavioral scientists
Maslow and Herzberg have identified a variety of psychological needs that drive
our behaviors such as needs for esteem , affection, respect ,belonging. Where you
need to shine? Awareness of your psychological needs can increase your
motivation by helping you understand and seek out the reward that you really
desire , such as a sense of accomplishment additional responsibility praise or
an opportunity
By Jane Wharam
Wednesday, August 7, 2013
Tuesday, August 6, 2013
How to Register in Employment Bank!
WestBengal Govt. has taken an initiative to give unemployed youths
1500/- per months.This project's name is "YUVA YUTSAHA PRAKALPA".
youths,who has enrolled in Employment bank is eligible to get Rs
1500/-.At the beginning 1 lakh people will get this
facility,experimentally.The age should be between 18 to 45 and minimum
qualification is 8th standard.Until now 90 lakhs of Youths has enrolled
in to this project.
How to Enroll:
Address
DOB
Academic Qualification
height
weight
Chest
Voter's ID card
Ration Card/Passport
Picture
in other word you have to furnish all of your employable skills into this Bio-data
How to Enroll:
- Write down a biodata by your own hand
- this letter must include:
Address
DOB
Academic Qualification
height
weight
Chest
Voter's ID card
Ration Card/Passport
Picture
in other word you have to furnish all of your employable skills into this Bio-data
- keep this biodata saved in your computer in a DOC format,it should not be more than 200KB
- Log on to http://employmentbankwb.gov.in/
- Go to Job seeker>>>>>New enrollment
- after the terms and conditions are accepted ,click " continue",you will get a form
- Fill the forms with the relevant info
- upload your bio-data ,along with a recent picture
- after the fill ups are done,you will be sent to a page ,which you have to print.
- take that print out to the nearest employment exchange with in 30 days for submission
- you will be give a username & password
- you might get a call after that for interviews!!
Monday, August 5, 2013
Sunday, August 4, 2013
30 MINUTES TO SOLVE THAT PROBLEM by Micheal Stevens
Here you can download this eBook on Problem Solving .
30 MINUTES TO SOLVE THAT PROBLEM by Micheal Stevens
30 MINUTES TO SOLVE THAT PROBLEM by Micheal Stevens
Saturday, August 3, 2013
Acheivment Motivation
Achievement is defined as something accomplished, especially
by superior ability ,special efforts ,great courage or successfully doing
something challenging that one set out to achieve.
Achievement motivation is initially conceptualized by Prof. David
MCclelland. Need for achievement can be described as an urge in individual to
do something unique ,an urge to excel: a desire for success in competition with
others ,involvement in a long term goal. Achievement Motivation is basic to any
change in economic life at all levels –individual,
Group, Community or society
Achievement motivation can be cultivated from different
sources as follows.
- Different types of literature
As a children whatever read ,hear and see, influence them
,what is known as imagery. The various dimensions of literature influence the thinking
process of the children and exhibit different level of motivation when they
grow up, depending upon what they were exposed to. This is further reinforced
by text books, Novels ,They read as an adolescent and adult.
Based on the said rationale, one can see the relevance of
looking pictures, writing stories and re writing them so as to influence the thought
patterns of the individuals and using them to charge or develop Achievement
Motivation.
- Child rearing system
When servants brought up the children ,it appears that they
socialized the children in their own way. Achieving motivation in these children
seems to have gone down. In contrast ,if parents brought up their children closely
encouraging to travel alone ,allowing them to take independent decision as
involve to take risk as early age ,them they can exhibit high degree of achievement
motivation ,when they grew up.
- Socializing Process
Literature and child rearing practice are slow process to
influence achievement Motivation .But Society can develop Achievement
motivation within a short period ,such orientation can be done at 3 levels
(i).
The family being a primary institution, parents
who know of Achievement motivation can help other elders in the family and
other parents to become better parents, so their children are socializing in
the right environment.
(ii).
In schools
collages students can be encouraged to think independently ,to work in
independent ,to seek help where needed, to set goals according to their
competence etc
(iii).
At the working places a leader aware of Achievement
motivation can contribute towards inculcation of much motivation. Creating
conditions where the urge to compete and excel develops amongst the Team
Members is another approach that leader can adopt.
The most effective may to develop Achievement Motivation is
through imparting structured training to achieve the participants as change
Agent.
The relevance of achievement motivation as ,an urge to excel
,setting challenging goals, taking moderate risks ,seeking help ,being aware of
personal and worldly blocks and so on influence trough pattern of the
entrepreneurs to change the situation in desired direction. Achievement
motivation may start working from
product selection in a creative way reflecting urge to do something new,
exploring opportunities to raise funds from various sources.
The greater the number of Achievement motivation elements
present is an Entrepreneur ,There will be greater chances of success ,Realizing
two major characteristics elements of Achievement
motivation i.e realizing personal blocks and seeking help to over come them.
The presence of light Achievement motivation alone may not
be sufficient to emerge out successfully ,If we examine the concept of Achievement
motivation-an urge to excel,an urge to compete ,an urge to do something unique
are associated with constant pressure & stress. This may lead to anxiety
regarding performance ,which resulted from “fear of Failure” and lead a person
to work for avoiding failure by lowering
his standard of excellence .”High fear of Failure “ when not matched with the
corresponding level of “hope of success”-means the person overlooks his
strength inside and opportunities outside
An entrepreneur doesn’t believe any factor can influence his
success or failure.
Friday, August 2, 2013
Anger Quiz
Everybody gets angry from time to time. A number of statements
that people have used to describe the times they get angry are
included below. Use the guidelines below to indicate how well
each of the following statements describes you. Please answer
every item.
5 = Completely true
4 = Mostly true
3 = Partly false/partly true
2 = Mostly false
1 = Completely false
1. I tend to get angry more frequently than most people.
.2 Other people seem to get angrier than I do in similar
circumstances.
3. I harbor grudges that I don’t tell anyone about.
4. I try to get even when I’m angry with someone.
5. I am secretly quite critical of others.
6. It is easy to make me angry.
7. When I am angry with someone, I let that person know.
8. I have met many people who are supposed to be experts
who are no better than I.
9. Something makes me angry almost every day.
10. I often feel angrier than I think I should.
11. I feel guilty about expressing my anger.
12. When I am angry with someone, I take it out on whoever
is around.
13. Some of my friends have habits that annoy and bother
me very much.
14. I am surprised at how often I feel angry.
15. Once I let people know I’m angry, I can put it out of my
mind.
16. People talk about me behind my back.
17. At times, I feel angry for no specific reason.
18. I can make myself angry about something in the past
just by thinking about it.
19. Even after I have expressed my anger, I have trouble forgetting
about it.
20. When I hide my anger from others, I think about it for a
long time.
21. People can bother me just by being around.
22. When I get angry, I stay angry for hours.
23. When I hide my anger from others, I forget about it
pretty quickly.
24. I try to talk over problems with people without letting
them know I’m angry.
25. When I get angry, I calm down faster than most people.
26. I get so angry, I feel like I might lose control.
27. If I let people see the way I feel, I’d be considered a hard
person to get along with.
28. I am on my guard with people who are friendlier than I
expected.
29. It’s difficult for me to let people know I’m angry.
30. I get angry when:
_____ a. Someone lets me down.
_____ b. People are unfair.
_____ c. Something blocks my plans.
_____ d. I am delayed.
_____ e. Someone embarrasses me.
_____ f. I have to take orders from someone less capable
than I.
_____ g. I have to work with incompetent people.
_____ h. I do something stupid.
_____ i. I am not given credit for something I have done.
Reprinted with permission of Dr. Judith M. Siegel. For more information see:
J. M. Siegel (1986). “The Multidimensional Anger Inventory.” Journal of Personality
and Social Psychology, 51, 191–200.
SCORING
The first step in scoring is to reverse (5 = 1, 4 = 2, 3 = 3, 2 = 4, and
1 = 5) the following items: 2, 23, and 25. Next, you can find your
score on five subscales. Please note that some items appear on
more than one subscale. The first is Anger Arousal and consists of
items 1, 2, 5, 6, 9, 10, 14, 17, 18, 21, 22, 25, and 26. The second dimension
is Range of Anger-Eliciting Situations and includes items
30a, 30b, 30c, 30d, 30e, 30f, 30g, 30h, and 30i. The third dimension
is Hostile Outlook and consists of items 8, 13, 17, 18, 21, 22,
28, 30a, 30b, 30f, 30g, and 30i. The fourth dimension is Anger-
Out and consists of items 7, 23, 24, and 29. And the fifth dimension
is Anger-In and consists of items 3, 4, 11, 19, 20, and 27.
NORMS
SCORES
AA RAS HO AO AI Total PERCENTILE
47 33 44 14 22 160 85
42 29 39 13 20 142 70
36 25 34 11 17 123 50
30 21 29 9 14 104 30
25 17 24 8 12 86 15
About the Multidimensional Anger Inventory
For many years, the common wisdom was that people should express their anger, that it was unhealthy to suppress
it. Freud, one of the first proponents of this view, argued
that depression is anger turned inward, so clearly, it would be
better to express one’s anger outward to avoid the negative consequences
of repressing it.
are you an angry person?
Now, , researchers have a very different
view of anger, and it appears as if there is very little that is good
about it. As is always the case, the situation is extremely complex
and the interplay of a number of variables must be considered,
but it does appear that anger poses serious health and social
risks.
you would benefit from modifying your anger level. It is never
easy to change lifelong patterns, but the evidence is clear that
anger management programs work. It is true that some of us are
predisposed by our biological makeup to respond more strongly
than others, but the experience of anger is strongly influenced
by learning. If we observed our parents becoming angry frequently,
we learned that anger is an expected reaction in such
situations. And remember, patterns that are learned can be unlearned.
Perhaps the most important step in modifying your anger is to
recognize that it is under your control. Too many angry people
blame the target of their emotions. The abusive husband blames
his wife for provoking him. The woman who experiences road
rage blames stupid and incompetent drivers. If you want to
change, you have to accept responsibility for your reactions. You
cannot blame others for the emotions you experience. You are in
charge, and it is up to you to do something about your anger.
One important step in modifying your anger is to learn a more
appropriate, healthier response to situations that make you angry.
Most anger management programs use relaxation training
to help people with this step. Even if you do not spend
the time to thoroughly master these techniques, you can accomplish
a great deal with very simple breathing exercises. Suppose
you are stuck in traffic and know you will be late to an important
meeting. Rather than feel angry at all the “idiots” who are making
life difficult for you, simply lean back in your seat, take several
slow, deep breaths, and repeat the word relax to yourself.
This will not work miracles the first time you try it, but if you consistently
practice relaxing in situations that typically make you
angry, you will be surprised by the change in yourself over a few
weeks’ time.
are you an angry person?
Along with learning to relax, you must change your thoughts.
I do not have much of a problem with anger but there is one situation
that I have had to make a conscious effort to work on—
the express line in the grocery store. I would find myself
becoming increasingly angry when the people in front of me did
not do everything they could to make the line move quickly. Especially
infuriating was the person who would wait until the
checker announced the total before digging through her purse
to find her pocketbook. Then, this especially annoying person
would dig through her change pocket to preserve as many of her
precious dollar bills as possible (see, I’m getting worked up just
writing about it). I decided I had to change when I realized I
would still be angry by the time I got home from the store. So I
would take the deep breaths and then tell myself that at most, it
was adding a minute to my delay and that the woman was not intentionally
doing this to make my life miserable. And rather than
stare at her in a futile attempt to speed her up, I would amuse
myself by reading the headlines of the tabloid newspapers that
are always adjacent to the checkout line.
It has been several years since I vowed to work on this, and
there are still times when I am in a hurry and I have to remind
myself to practice what I preach. It is almost impossible to completely
change our reactions, but it is also true that I almost
never walk out of the store feeling angry at the people who were
ahead of me in line. With persistence, you too can overcome
most anything.
By : Louis Janda
that people have used to describe the times they get angry are
included below. Use the guidelines below to indicate how well
each of the following statements describes you. Please answer
every item.
5 = Completely true
4 = Mostly true
3 = Partly false/partly true
2 = Mostly false
1 = Completely false
1. I tend to get angry more frequently than most people.
.2 Other people seem to get angrier than I do in similar
circumstances.
3. I harbor grudges that I don’t tell anyone about.
4. I try to get even when I’m angry with someone.
5. I am secretly quite critical of others.
6. It is easy to make me angry.
7. When I am angry with someone, I let that person know.
8. I have met many people who are supposed to be experts
who are no better than I.
9. Something makes me angry almost every day.
10. I often feel angrier than I think I should.
11. I feel guilty about expressing my anger.
12. When I am angry with someone, I take it out on whoever
is around.
13. Some of my friends have habits that annoy and bother
me very much.
14. I am surprised at how often I feel angry.
15. Once I let people know I’m angry, I can put it out of my
mind.
16. People talk about me behind my back.
17. At times, I feel angry for no specific reason.
18. I can make myself angry about something in the past
just by thinking about it.
19. Even after I have expressed my anger, I have trouble forgetting
about it.
20. When I hide my anger from others, I think about it for a
long time.
21. People can bother me just by being around.
22. When I get angry, I stay angry for hours.
23. When I hide my anger from others, I forget about it
pretty quickly.
24. I try to talk over problems with people without letting
them know I’m angry.
25. When I get angry, I calm down faster than most people.
26. I get so angry, I feel like I might lose control.
27. If I let people see the way I feel, I’d be considered a hard
person to get along with.
28. I am on my guard with people who are friendlier than I
expected.
29. It’s difficult for me to let people know I’m angry.
30. I get angry when:
_____ a. Someone lets me down.
_____ b. People are unfair.
_____ c. Something blocks my plans.
_____ d. I am delayed.
_____ e. Someone embarrasses me.
_____ f. I have to take orders from someone less capable
than I.
_____ g. I have to work with incompetent people.
_____ h. I do something stupid.
_____ i. I am not given credit for something I have done.
Reprinted with permission of Dr. Judith M. Siegel. For more information see:
J. M. Siegel (1986). “The Multidimensional Anger Inventory.” Journal of Personality
and Social Psychology, 51, 191–200.
SCORING
The first step in scoring is to reverse (5 = 1, 4 = 2, 3 = 3, 2 = 4, and
1 = 5) the following items: 2, 23, and 25. Next, you can find your
score on five subscales. Please note that some items appear on
more than one subscale. The first is Anger Arousal and consists of
items 1, 2, 5, 6, 9, 10, 14, 17, 18, 21, 22, 25, and 26. The second dimension
is Range of Anger-Eliciting Situations and includes items
30a, 30b, 30c, 30d, 30e, 30f, 30g, 30h, and 30i. The third dimension
is Hostile Outlook and consists of items 8, 13, 17, 18, 21, 22,
28, 30a, 30b, 30f, 30g, and 30i. The fourth dimension is Anger-
Out and consists of items 7, 23, 24, and 29. And the fifth dimension
is Anger-In and consists of items 3, 4, 11, 19, 20, and 27.
NORMS
SCORES
AA RAS HO AO AI Total PERCENTILE
47 33 44 14 22 160 85
42 29 39 13 20 142 70
36 25 34 11 17 123 50
30 21 29 9 14 104 30
25 17 24 8 12 86 15
About the Multidimensional Anger Inventory
For many years, the common wisdom was that people should express their anger, that it was unhealthy to suppress
it. Freud, one of the first proponents of this view, argued
that depression is anger turned inward, so clearly, it would be
better to express one’s anger outward to avoid the negative consequences
of repressing it.
are you an angry person?
Now, , researchers have a very different
view of anger, and it appears as if there is very little that is good
about it. As is always the case, the situation is extremely complex
and the interplay of a number of variables must be considered,
but it does appear that anger poses serious health and social
risks.
you would benefit from modifying your anger level. It is never
easy to change lifelong patterns, but the evidence is clear that
anger management programs work. It is true that some of us are
predisposed by our biological makeup to respond more strongly
than others, but the experience of anger is strongly influenced
by learning. If we observed our parents becoming angry frequently,
we learned that anger is an expected reaction in such
situations. And remember, patterns that are learned can be unlearned.
Perhaps the most important step in modifying your anger is to
recognize that it is under your control. Too many angry people
blame the target of their emotions. The abusive husband blames
his wife for provoking him. The woman who experiences road
rage blames stupid and incompetent drivers. If you want to
change, you have to accept responsibility for your reactions. You
cannot blame others for the emotions you experience. You are in
charge, and it is up to you to do something about your anger.
One important step in modifying your anger is to learn a more
appropriate, healthier response to situations that make you angry.
Most anger management programs use relaxation training
to help people with this step. Even if you do not spend
the time to thoroughly master these techniques, you can accomplish
a great deal with very simple breathing exercises. Suppose
you are stuck in traffic and know you will be late to an important
meeting. Rather than feel angry at all the “idiots” who are making
life difficult for you, simply lean back in your seat, take several
slow, deep breaths, and repeat the word relax to yourself.
This will not work miracles the first time you try it, but if you consistently
practice relaxing in situations that typically make you
angry, you will be surprised by the change in yourself over a few
weeks’ time.
are you an angry person?
Along with learning to relax, you must change your thoughts.
I do not have much of a problem with anger but there is one situation
that I have had to make a conscious effort to work on—
the express line in the grocery store. I would find myself
becoming increasingly angry when the people in front of me did
not do everything they could to make the line move quickly. Especially
infuriating was the person who would wait until the
checker announced the total before digging through her purse
to find her pocketbook. Then, this especially annoying person
would dig through her change pocket to preserve as many of her
precious dollar bills as possible (see, I’m getting worked up just
writing about it). I decided I had to change when I realized I
would still be angry by the time I got home from the store. So I
would take the deep breaths and then tell myself that at most, it
was adding a minute to my delay and that the woman was not intentionally
doing this to make my life miserable. And rather than
stare at her in a futile attempt to speed her up, I would amuse
myself by reading the headlines of the tabloid newspapers that
are always adjacent to the checkout line.
It has been several years since I vowed to work on this, and
there are still times when I am in a hurry and I have to remind
myself to practice what I preach. It is almost impossible to completely
change our reactions, but it is also true that I almost
never walk out of the store feeling angry at the people who were
ahead of me in line. With persistence, you too can overcome
most anything.
By : Louis Janda
Thursday, August 1, 2013
Are you a CONTROLLING Person?
The following questionnaire should be filled out according to
how you feel at the present. Respond with a “True” or a “False”
depending on which choice most accurately describes you.
1. I am easily awakened by noise.
2. When it’s time to make a major decision like purchasing
a house or a car, I usually make that decision.
3. When it’s time to make a major decision about moving,
I usually make that decision.
4. My daily life is full of things that are interesting.
5. I enjoy detective or mystery stories.
6. I work under a great deal of tension.
7. When it’s time to discipline the children, I make that decision.
8. No one seems to understand me.
9. When it’s time to decide about social events with
friends or family, I usually make that decision.
10. I like to be bossy.
11. At times I feel like swearing.
12. I like to get in the last word.
13. I find it hard to keep my mind on a task.
14. At times I feel like smashing things.
15. I like to know the details about other people’s phone
conversations.
16. I do not always tell the truth.
17. I like to have rules and structure for handling most or all
situations.
18. I like to monitor other people to make sure things are
going the way they should be.
19. I like to make sure everything goes according to plan.
20. I am a good mixer.
21. I like to lead conversations or group discussions.
22. I am liked by most people.
23. I get angry sometimes.
24. I may be inclined to interrupt people if they are not responding
in the way they should be.
25. I think most people would lie to get ahead.
26. I am lacking in self-confidence.
27. I am an important person.
28. I have a tendency to manipulate, maneuver, or control
other people.
29. I am a good leader but not particularly a good follower.
30. I like to give directions about driving or other activities.
31. I am happy most of the time.
32. I am a person who, if I am going out for an evening,
likes to decide where to eat, what movie to attend, etc.
33. My hardest battles are with myself.
34. I seem to be about as capable and smart as most others
around me.
35. I tend to overstructure spontaneous time such as vacation,
etc. and turn them into controlled events.
36. I feel useless at times.
106 interpersonal barriers
37. I have ideas about controlling other things with the children
and other people such as how much food they
should have on their plate, etc.
38. I am seen by relatives as being a dominant member of
our extended family.
39. I am the one who usually decides which television
channel to watch.
40. I am the one who usually controls the thermostat in the
house.
41. Criticism or scolding hurts me terribly.
42. I would rather win than lose in a game.
43. I do not tire quickly.
SCORING
The Way of Life Scale uses a technique that, while common in
test construction, is one we have not seen in the other tests in this
book—it uses a number of “distractor items” to disguise the purpose
of the test. So, while 43 items appear on the scale, only 21
of the items are actually relevant to the purpose of the test. To
find your score, count the number of “True” responses to items
2, 3, 7, 9, 10, 12, 15, 17, 18, 19, 21, 24, 28, 29, 30, 32, 35, 37, 38,
39, and 40.
NORMS
SCORE PERCENTILE
15 85
13 70
11 50
9 30
7 15
Type A personalities are described as ambitious, impatient, harddriving,
time-pressured, and hostile people. This personality
type burst into the public consciousness some thirty years ago
when researchers discovered that such people were prone to
coronary heart disease.
It was noted that while a variety of elements
come together to form the Type A personality, not all of
these qualities are bad, or “toxic,” . In fact,
people with Type A personalities tend to be more successful in
their academic and vocational careers than their Type B counterparts.
Furthermore, Type As are quicker to recognize hopeless,
no-win situations than are Type Bs. There are some good
things about being a Type A, but it can be difficult for these
people to retain the good while ridding themselves of the toxic
components.
Over the past few years, a number of researchers have collected
impressive evidence that anger and hostility are the components
of the Type A personality that are especially troublesome
Researchers wondered if an exaggerated
need for social control, also referred to as “non mutuality,”
might also be one of the toxic elements. To learn if this
might be true, they developed the test .....
When working on a task,
controlling people are reluctant to defer to their partner, even
when it is clear their partner has superior ability. No wonder
these people are so hard to live with.
If you had a high score on this test, the odds are good that
your partner feels resentful about your need to always have
things go your way. And unless you can change your ways, your
relationship is in for some difficult times. Although we have
much to learn about this personality trait, your relationships with
friends and colleagues are probably hurt by your need to control
them as well. High scorers’ pervasive need to be “in control”
makes them insensitive to the needs, feelings, and opinions of
others. High scorers are even unwilling to share the conversational
ball; they need to control that as well. It is often difficult
for controlling people to see their situation clearly, but they give
up the opportunity for warm, caring relationships by demanding
to always be in charge.
If you score highly on this test, it will not be easy for you to
change your ways. Even those who have experienced coronary
heart disease find it difficult to tone down their personalities,
even though they know it may mean the difference between life
and death. I believe the first step is to attempt to fully understand
how your need to be in control is affecting your relationships
with others. Talk openly with your partner and your friends. Invite
them to share with you their feelings about your behavior.
Expect them to be reluctant about being candid: your anger is
intimidating. Understand that their criticisms will elicit an intense
urge on your part to justify your actions. Be calm and patient,
and listen to all they have to say.
Once you are ready to make some changes, begin with the
small stuff. Ask a child to build a tower of blocks or put together
a model without interfering. Yes, you could probably improve on
the child’s effort, but remember, that is not the point. Ask your
partner to pick a restaurant and movie for the evening and go
along with the plans cheerfully. Do not offer your thoughts
about the bad review you read, for instance; simply give up control
for a single evening.
Recognize that there may be some situations in which it will be
almost impossible for you to give up control. In other words, do
not pretend that you and your partner are going to plant a garden
together if you find it intolerable not to do it your way. If you
must, plant your own garden and allow your partner to plant his
or her own.It will be difficult to change and it will take an enormous
amount of self-discipline, but the rewards are great. Not only will
you increase your odds of living a long, healthy life, but you also
will discover the richness of human relationships when they are
based on mutuality and respect. Don’t give up.
Source:Louise Janda
how you feel at the present. Respond with a “True” or a “False”
depending on which choice most accurately describes you.
1. I am easily awakened by noise.
2. When it’s time to make a major decision like purchasing
a house or a car, I usually make that decision.
3. When it’s time to make a major decision about moving,
I usually make that decision.
4. My daily life is full of things that are interesting.
5. I enjoy detective or mystery stories.
6. I work under a great deal of tension.
7. When it’s time to discipline the children, I make that decision.
8. No one seems to understand me.
9. When it’s time to decide about social events with
friends or family, I usually make that decision.
10. I like to be bossy.
11. At times I feel like swearing.
12. I like to get in the last word.
13. I find it hard to keep my mind on a task.
14. At times I feel like smashing things.
15. I like to know the details about other people’s phone
conversations.
16. I do not always tell the truth.
17. I like to have rules and structure for handling most or all
situations.
18. I like to monitor other people to make sure things are
going the way they should be.
19. I like to make sure everything goes according to plan.
20. I am a good mixer.
21. I like to lead conversations or group discussions.
22. I am liked by most people.
23. I get angry sometimes.
24. I may be inclined to interrupt people if they are not responding
in the way they should be.
25. I think most people would lie to get ahead.
26. I am lacking in self-confidence.
27. I am an important person.
28. I have a tendency to manipulate, maneuver, or control
other people.
29. I am a good leader but not particularly a good follower.
30. I like to give directions about driving or other activities.
31. I am happy most of the time.
32. I am a person who, if I am going out for an evening,
likes to decide where to eat, what movie to attend, etc.
33. My hardest battles are with myself.
34. I seem to be about as capable and smart as most others
around me.
35. I tend to overstructure spontaneous time such as vacation,
etc. and turn them into controlled events.
36. I feel useless at times.
106 interpersonal barriers
37. I have ideas about controlling other things with the children
and other people such as how much food they
should have on their plate, etc.
38. I am seen by relatives as being a dominant member of
our extended family.
39. I am the one who usually decides which television
channel to watch.
40. I am the one who usually controls the thermostat in the
house.
41. Criticism or scolding hurts me terribly.
42. I would rather win than lose in a game.
43. I do not tire quickly.
SCORING
The Way of Life Scale uses a technique that, while common in
test construction, is one we have not seen in the other tests in this
book—it uses a number of “distractor items” to disguise the purpose
of the test. So, while 43 items appear on the scale, only 21
of the items are actually relevant to the purpose of the test. To
find your score, count the number of “True” responses to items
2, 3, 7, 9, 10, 12, 15, 17, 18, 19, 21, 24, 28, 29, 30, 32, 35, 37, 38,
39, and 40.
NORMS
SCORE PERCENTILE
15 85
13 70
11 50
9 30
7 15
Type A personalities are described as ambitious, impatient, harddriving,
time-pressured, and hostile people. This personality
type burst into the public consciousness some thirty years ago
when researchers discovered that such people were prone to
coronary heart disease.
It was noted that while a variety of elements
come together to form the Type A personality, not all of
these qualities are bad, or “toxic,” . In fact,
people with Type A personalities tend to be more successful in
their academic and vocational careers than their Type B counterparts.
Furthermore, Type As are quicker to recognize hopeless,
no-win situations than are Type Bs. There are some good
things about being a Type A, but it can be difficult for these
people to retain the good while ridding themselves of the toxic
components.
Over the past few years, a number of researchers have collected
impressive evidence that anger and hostility are the components
of the Type A personality that are especially troublesome
Researchers wondered if an exaggerated
need for social control, also referred to as “non mutuality,”
might also be one of the toxic elements. To learn if this
might be true, they developed the test .....
When working on a task,
controlling people are reluctant to defer to their partner, even
when it is clear their partner has superior ability. No wonder
these people are so hard to live with.
If you had a high score on this test, the odds are good that
your partner feels resentful about your need to always have
things go your way. And unless you can change your ways, your
relationship is in for some difficult times. Although we have
much to learn about this personality trait, your relationships with
friends and colleagues are probably hurt by your need to control
them as well. High scorers’ pervasive need to be “in control”
makes them insensitive to the needs, feelings, and opinions of
others. High scorers are even unwilling to share the conversational
ball; they need to control that as well. It is often difficult
for controlling people to see their situation clearly, but they give
up the opportunity for warm, caring relationships by demanding
to always be in charge.
If you score highly on this test, it will not be easy for you to
change your ways. Even those who have experienced coronary
heart disease find it difficult to tone down their personalities,
even though they know it may mean the difference between life
and death. I believe the first step is to attempt to fully understand
how your need to be in control is affecting your relationships
with others. Talk openly with your partner and your friends. Invite
them to share with you their feelings about your behavior.
Expect them to be reluctant about being candid: your anger is
intimidating. Understand that their criticisms will elicit an intense
urge on your part to justify your actions. Be calm and patient,
and listen to all they have to say.
Once you are ready to make some changes, begin with the
small stuff. Ask a child to build a tower of blocks or put together
a model without interfering. Yes, you could probably improve on
the child’s effort, but remember, that is not the point. Ask your
partner to pick a restaurant and movie for the evening and go
along with the plans cheerfully. Do not offer your thoughts
about the bad review you read, for instance; simply give up control
for a single evening.
Recognize that there may be some situations in which it will be
almost impossible for you to give up control. In other words, do
not pretend that you and your partner are going to plant a garden
together if you find it intolerable not to do it your way. If you
must, plant your own garden and allow your partner to plant his
or her own.It will be difficult to change and it will take an enormous
amount of self-discipline, but the rewards are great. Not only will
you increase your odds of living a long, healthy life, but you also
will discover the richness of human relationships when they are
based on mutuality and respect. Don’t give up.
Source:Louise Janda
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