COUNSELLING FOR DUMMIES.rar : free Download

I want to share an ebook with you which is absolutely FREE.you can download the book COUNSELING FOR THE DUMMIES from the link below.This is a book suitable for the new learners as well as for the advanced level..so its a "must have" ..so allow me to present a small GIFT to you in the eve of this new year.


COUNSELLING FOR DUMMIES.rar

its in rar format..make sure you have winrar softwere installed...just click to the link above and you will be transferred to another page where you will be able to download it....enjoy

2nd house: Aries/Mars Values

"Values provide perspectives in the best of times and the worst."

This is my second writeup on "Values" when a person has Aries or Mars influence in his /her second house.


Why our Values are second important resource that we have got after our  personal possessions and money can be read here through this link. It will give you an introduction of this post.

so lets see Aries/Mars Values:

Accomplishment
achievement
Acknowledgement
activeness
aggressiveness
alertness
adventure
altruism
articulacy
assertiveness
audacity
boldness
bravery
brilliance
Candor
challenge
compititive
compassion
confidence
courage
creativity
Dominance
dynamism
energy
expedency
fidelity
honesty
heroism
gregariousness
gallantry
leadership
liberty
loyalty
proactivity
sexuality
silliness
speed
sponteinity
spunk
sympathy
victory
willfullness
vigor
youthfulness.

you can read the article on Pisces/Neptune values here.

Emotional Expressions and Graphology

hi

In my previous post Psychology and Graphology ,I discussed about the 3 ways by which we communicate.By talking,by using body languages or non verbal cues and by writing we express ourselves to the world.in Graphology there are many ways by which we can  find out our mode of self expression.Writing Slant is  one of the most important way to understand this.Before we go any further in to the slants,we should understand about the expression.

this expression we are talking about is our emotional expression.its all about  what people sense about us during the first meeting with us.the facial expression or the vibes can be understood by the slants.our emotions are very much related with our childhood experiences and the way we were treated or brought up in our childhood.the childhood lessons stays with us till the day we die and it works as a measuring scale by which we try to evaluate all our situations in our adult life.be it professional or social.in my previous post  I did mention that the first 12 years  of any child is very important when it comes to his / her environments and how he/she is treated by closed ones.it can break or make a child's future.first 12 years plays a major role in creating the bed rock of a child's self confidence and emotional health.hence naturally our slants can tell about out childhood experiences .although we often need other supporting cues from the other areas of the the sample we are analyzing.its true that even if a child gets a suitable environment and security ,some trumatic experience or turn of events can effect the way he writes.

in right hand side picture you can see the different examples of slants.the meaning of slant is , particular way by which a word is leaning in a particular direction.

in graphology we find slants A,B,C,D,E, and F.
A,B,C,D,E belongs to one group and F slant belongs to another group.

below we can see the  arrangements of the slants.

now lets see where these two groups of the slants falls.A to E slants falls from vertical to extrem right ward. and F falls withing vertical to extreme left ward of the picture below .

p,g,d,b,f,y,t,i these are some of the alphabets by which we can understand our slants. its quite easy to find out the majority of the slants  that are present in the handwriting.

you can see the picture in the left hand side.In order to determine the slant draw a line vertically across the alphabets (specially, p,g,d,b,f,y,t,i),Now find out the slant from the "emotional Chart".



lets go to the interpretation.

slant A
Visualize a person standing erect,calm and in total control of situation.A person who writes in A slant is always thinks before he acts.they can maintain their cool in any situation.this person will always have logic for his actions.they may not express their emotion readily.


slant B
visualize a person who is leaning a bit forward.this types of persons are warm friendly  and a smile on his face.he would love to socialize and attend parties.they interact with people but within a healthy limit.he can display a small levle of impulsiveness in his attitude.


Slant C
the writer has taken his first step of being impulsive.in this type of slants logic decreases and impulse takes over.these people are moody and often irresponsible.they act ,behave ,purchase ,thinks impulsively.


slant D
totally impulsive and uncontrollable.they may unburden themselves even in the presence of a stranger.


slant E
impulsiveness personified!! no logic at all...they smother people.


slant F
in this case emotions are repressed.they find it difficult to express their inner thoughts and even expects other people to understand them with out a word.very selective and selfish to some extent.insecure in nature.

the people who writes in multi-slants ,are very unpredictable in nature.

if you have B slant then you don't need to change it ,but C,D,F slants needs to be corrected. initially it can create a lot of resistance and impatience in mind of the writer but with persistent effort it can be changed.

MUST have Resolutions

“Resolve to perform what you ought; perform without fail what you resolve.” 
Benjamin Franklin Quotes

people tend to make lots of resolutions at the beginning of a new year. for many reasons they cant keep it but some resolutions are meant to be kept forever.so lets refresh those resolutions..


This life is yours,
Take the power to choose what you want to do-and do it well,
Take the power to love what you want in life and love it honestly,
Take the power to walk in the forest and be a part of nature,
Take the power to control your own life,
No one else can do it for you,
Nothing is too good for you,
You deserve the best,
Take the power to make your life
Healthy, Exciting, Worthwhile and very Happy
-while you reach for your dreams.


Take time to smell the roses.
Take a nap on Sunday afternoon.
Drink 8 glasses of water a day.
Never deprive someone of hope. It might be all they have.
Be thankful for every meal.
Don't be afraid to say I'm sorry.
Don't take your health for granted.
Improve your performance by improving your attitude.
Listen to your children.
Leave everything a little better than you found it.
Keep it simple.
Keep good company.
Keep your promise.
Be kinder than necessary.
Take good care of those you love.
Make it a habit to do nice things.
Wear outrageous underwear.
Judge your success by the degree that you're
enjoying peace, health and love.
Be a good loser.
Be a good winner.
Be romantic.
Live so that when you your children think of fairness, caring
and integrity, they think of you.


Never refuse homemade foods.
Remember other people's birthdays.
Sing in the shower.
Don't nag.
Don't gossip.
Don't expect money to bring you happiness.
Be forgiving of yourself and others.
Never give up on anyone. Miracles happen every day.
Say thank you a lot.
Say please a lot.
Take your dog to obedience school. You'll both learn a lot.
Slow dance.
Don't rain on other people's parades.
Don't postpone joy.
Don’t blame others.
Take responsibility for every area of your life.
Take care of your reputation. It's your most valuable asset.
Count your blessings.
Whistle.
Marry only for love.
Do more than is expected.
Be there when others need you.
Never sell yourself short.
Never be ashamed of your patriotism.
Never be ashamed of honest tears.

live your life.. don't waste it.be optimistic.

Another Year: Another YOU

its hard to believe but 2011 has come to an end.so this is our last month to review the year and plan the year ahead. because " new year's day is every man's birthday- Charles Lamb".there are some short yet simple tips we can follow before we make any new resolutions.

1. First, REVIEW THE PAST. “Those who fail to learn from the past are doomed to
repeat it.”
The first step to changing the future is to acknowledge what already is. Ask good
questions about 2011. What did you learn? What worked well? What would you like to
repeat? What are you proud of? How did you grow, change or improve this year? How
about your relationships, your career, your lifestyle? How about your income, your health
and your hobbies? Ask good questions, and write down the answers.

2. Second, MAP THE FUTURE. I like the term “map” because this is not a dream, a
fantasy or even just a goal. What exactly would you like to change in 2012? Do you want
to increase your income? Lose weight? Improve some relationships, buy a new house,
change jobs?
Mapping the future requires that you balance optimism and ambition with a conservative
assessment of what’s possible. Remember, reality never lies. It’s unlikely that you can
change everything or do everything in one year. What are the specifics you really to want
to change in 2012? Ask good questions; write down the answers.

3. Third, GET A SYSTEM. I’m a huge believer in plans and budgets and strategies. If
you want to increase you income by 25%, you’ll probably have to make more sales, work
more hours or learn new skills. When (exactly) will you do this? If you want to lose ten
pounds, you’ll probably have to exercise more and eat less. Make a plan!
And get plenty of support. Surround yourself with reminders, books, tools and equipment
that automatically move you in the direction you want to go.
Get a coach. Make sure your family, friends and
colleagues know exactly what you want to achieve, and make sure they support you
every step of the way.

The start of a new year is a wonderful time to take stock, adjust course and affirm your
priorities, but it doesn’t happen by accident. Take time to review. Take time to plan and
develop your system. And get the support you’ll need.




In order to achieve any and every goal, you simply
need to answer these 3 questions.
"In order to achieve my goal....
1. What do I need to STOP doing?
2. What do I need to START doing?
3. What do I need to DO MORE OF?"

How to Deal: Ascendant Square Pluto

One person with passion is better than forty people merely interested.”
– E. M. Forster,
English Novelist

1. Power and dominance are the themes that are often important to you.you  are likely to  appear like a control-freak.you have a fear of getting dominated by others , that's why you try to dominate others in turn .Don't be that insecure about your own power.Your power leaves you only when you give it to others,not before that.so don't get paranoid that everyone is looking for a chance to possess you or "rule" over your life.
2. you have a powerful impact on people around you.something magical and invisible which leaves them either attracted and fascinated towards you,or totally horrified .you may not be even aware of such personal power that you display.become more self aware.watch your body language  because  most of the time  its in "don't mess with me" mode.
3. you might find it difficult to communicate with all those "shallow" people ,who are so worthless that you  often feel like crushing them like insects.As if  there is nobody who can understand you.its not the case in reality.there are thousands of people who are naturally friendly and willing to spend some quality time.you need to be more open hearted to find such peoples. don't scare people off by your involuntary display of Intensity. don't intemidate people,it may make you lonely in turn.
4. Luck may not be on your side until you channelize your volcanic energies into something productive .make sure all your energies goes in to something which has a  positive end.if you use it for your selfish gain it may backfire.never use underhanded,cunning tactics,it might hurt others who are closely associate with you.
5.  you often run into troubles with the authority figures.learn to take orders before you become the man who gives orders.that is the eternal rule of life.no shortcuts.
6. don't act ruthless,revengeful and aggressive with others or with your partner. don't become  too demanding  or irrational  of yourself or others.going deeper in to some matters are good but baseless suspicion or probing into somebody's privacy can make you unpopular.manipulating your partners is not a good idea.love under pressure is not  love at all.
7. your destructive attitude should get a positive channel of outlet.enroll in a club like martial art or boxing where you will get  to know how to use your power constructively.
8. to become more calmer,practice yoga or get in to habit of writing diary.it might help you ventilate your pent up emotions and energies.to get rid of aggressiveness and anger,you might consult a grafotherapist.
9. learn to "let go" things,which are not working for you,or relations which are beyond repair.be rational.you will grow.your stubbornness can be your downfall.
10. use your determination,persistence and conviction for the worthy causes.live for others.politics,secret agent,healing, finance, business these are the some of the fields that might attract you.
11. you want to "win" no matter what.you understand peoples' motives so good that ,you often manipulate.if you do that for winning,it can serve the purpose momentarily,but when you will prob to the core of the matter ,you will find that ,your manipulation skill was the thing which won..not you.your capability and competence should have won people .its not being honest with yourself.you better try pursuation rather than coercion to get what you want.
12. practice forgiveness.only spiritually powerful people can forgive others.before you forgive others ,forgive yourself.accept yourself.
13. voicing radical  opinions may seem rude to others. you enjoy extremities.you love to "shake up the system". practice detachment.
14. don't try to remake others .change yourself for others.
15. acknowledge your failings.

tips

settle your inner conflict.

guard against paranoia,compulsion, addiction,obsession.

regeneration is your gift.

heal yourself

you invite conflict out of nowhere.

stay away from explosives and fire arms.

evaluate your sex-life.

are you irrational?

Rational -Emotive Therapy (RET) is based on the concept of faulty or irrational thought patterns.this theory was propounded by ALBERT ELLES in 1960 who believed that emotional disturbances are the end product of irrational and illogical thinking.Many irrational thinking not only creats blockages inside our minds but often forms  the bedrock of many nurotic disturbances.

Many of these thought pattrns are injected into us from the childhood .either its the part of the whole up bringing process or the values of the culture where we belong to.These types of experiences often sends wrong mesages to our subconscious mind.According Dr.Joseph Murphy ," when ever subconscious mind accepts an idea,it immediately begins to execute it.its uses all its mighty resources to that end". So its imaginable that what kind of thought patterns are we likely to have.  Rememebr ,our thinking makes what we are.so its advisable to evaluate the heatlh of our thoughts .


THINKING>>>Repeated thinking>>>ACTION>>>repeated action>>>HABIT>>>repeated habit>>>CHARACTER.


From the self-help form below,you will able to judge your thoughts.Use it when ever possible,especially when caught between emotionally disturbing situation.this form will help you to sort out things effectively.it can be used to help others to sort out their emotional problems too.its easy to use.




where you can use this easy technique?
*when ever you see yourself ,your family, your friends frequently makes impossible , perfectionistic statements about themselves and others.
*when ever you want to make a realistic ,, open-minded  positive decisions.




step 1
list and describe the activating events,thougts,feelings that happend just before you felt emotionally disturbed or acted in some self -defeating way.


step 2
look at the descriptions of events ,thought or feeling and examine them for irrational beliefs.examples: 
I MUST do well or very well.
I am BAD or WORTHLESS person when I act weakly or stupidly.
I must be approves or accepted by the people whom I find important.
I need IMMEDIATE GRATIFICATION for my need.
Other people MUST live up to my expectations or it is TERRIBLE.
its AWFUL or HORRIBLE when major things do not go my way.
I CANT STAND IT when life is really unfair.
if you have any ADDITIONAL IRRATIONAL BELIEFS,write it down too.


 step 3
how did you feel after the fact ,event , behavior? what did you do to produce it? how would like change?




step 4
look at the irrational beliefs and then challenge it,examples:
Why MUST I do well so very well?
Where is written Thant I am a BAD or WORTHLESS person?
Where is the evidence that I MUST be approved or accepted?


 step 5
Now replace the Irrational beliefs,Examples:
I would prefer to do well,but I don't HAVE TO BE perfect
I am a person who acted badly ,but I am not a BAD or WORTHLESS person.
There is no evidence that I HAVE TO BE approved or accepted although I would like to be...


step 6
then make the following commitment :
"I will work hard to repeat my effective rational belief forcefully to myself on many occasions so that I can make myself less disturbed now and act less self-defeating in future"

this self help form will make you more positive and realistic about your approach of life in every sector.

Our Subconscious Mind

Your subconscious mind does not argue with you. It accepts what your conscious mind decrees. If you say, "I can't afford it," your subconscious mind works to make it true. Select a better thought. Decree, "I'll buy it. I accept it in my mind."

~ Dr. Joseph Murphy Quotes

I have just finished reading the book called ,"The power of your subconscious mind" by Dr.Joseph Murphy.Its always been the bestseller in the self-improvement genre.This book has inspired me a lot  and taught me how to look for things ,inside our mind instead outwards.the approach of the book is quite inspirational yet very practical.

I remember my "educational psychology "classes from collage days.where we learnt about the Freud's  psychoanalytical theory.subconscious mind is the reservoir of feeling,thoughts that are outside of our conscious awareness .According to Freud ,the subconscious continues to influence our behaviors and experience even though we are unaware of these underlying influences.It is the largest  part of our mind whereas conscious mind is the smallest part.All our thinking ,all our experiences and our primitive urges and longings are stored inside our subconscious mind.In a word we never forget anything... we just recall those facts when we need. Thus our subconscious is like a never ending space where everything is stored which has made us "us",it has all the "data".it has all the answers too.


We often don't give our subconscious mind its due credit. some of  functions of our subconscious mind are ..

its a loyal friend.our subconscious is the non-critical, non-analytical aspect of our mind--though we often judge ourselves with our conscious mind .The realm of the subconscious is where our heart lies. When it comes to a battle of the minds, the subconscious mind will almost always win out. The Creative Level of Mind within the subconscious is the creative, imaginative part of our mind.it has all the higher wisdom-it has all the answers.

Our subconscious mind records all events that occur within the field of our awareness; all thoughts and feelings about those events; all memories; and records meanings our conscious mind assigns to those events. Our subconscious mind has a library filled with all our thoughts; feelings; memories; and belief systems from our life experiences—all neatly categorized. Our powerful subconscious automatically carries out for us all of the habitual behavior of our mind and body-Our magical subconscious regulates all involuntary functions of the body.  The subconscious mind breathes us; circulates the blood throughout our body; heals us when we are sick or injured; and is in charge of digestion and elimination.
our conscious mind is our only world,thats what we believe in .we never go deep within to find out the  basics of our reality.one's reality is never same as the others.this differences in realities are determined by our subconscious mind.


self hypnosis or positive self talk in front of the mirror is nothing but injecting "suggestions" to our subconscious mind. Because our subconscious mind is highly suggestible.this same suggestion-technique is used in behavioral thereapy to cure unwanted behavior .In my pervious posts I have expalined the role of our subconscious mind in our handwriting. the articles on how subconscious thought patterns influence our hand writting and our character can be read here.


so subconscious mind is an important "key" of our well being.it guides us in form of intuition or the gut feelings.it helps us to visualize things and it shows us dreams at night,which are full of "clues".subconscious mind asks nothing in return-only the faith unto ourselves.


how can we use this  power in our life?


Imagination is the beginning of creation. You imagine what you desire, you will what you 
imagine and at last you create what you will.-Bernard Shaw


According to Dr.Murphy " when ever subconscious mind accepts an idea,it immediately begins to execute it.its uses all its mighty resources to that end". he also mentioned that when ever you try to force your subconscious mind to do something for you,you will fail.so how do you give suggestions to your subconscious mind? 


all we need to  do is to relax. here is the link of relaxation technique. then visualize all those things which you wish to accomplish. make the pictures vivid and real.hear voices ,see gestures.this will keep you motivated and push you towards your dream.there is another way,by which you can impress upon your subconscious mind.when you are relaxed ,you can repeat some positive statements regarding your wish,like you believe in it and mean it from the core of your heart.




some of our real negative traits and habits can be overcome by the help of subconscious mind.like smoking and other substance abuse, fears,resentments, mental blockage etc. A therapist has all the capability to help us get out of such mess but  still we need some extra push ,which can only be supplied by our subconscious mind.we can easily self-sabotage ourselves by mouthing repeated negative thoughts.never ever do it!!

we all strive for success. success is all about successful living.when you are full of peace and happiness,doing what you love to do , maintaining meaningful relationships then only you are successful . remember negative things take place first in the mind,then in the reality.like wise positive things can also take place in the mind,if you want .. choice is yours.so be careful before you ask anything..it might come true!!

have a nice day.

here is link of a blog post where you will find some subconscious mind quotes.